“The harness should be really snug — or be able to be adjusted to be really snug,” Corrado says. “Whether you’re thrusting into someone else, into your own hand, or just wearing it around, you don’t want the dildo to be wiggling around,” she explains. The snugger the fit, the more control you’ll have over the attachable phallus. Strap-on style Decked out in straps, this type of harness is super-duper adjustable, which means you can make it tighter against your body. “SpareParts is the gold standard of the strap-on harnesses. They look cute, have incredible holding power, and come in a variety of styles,” Corrado says. Thong-style strap-ons, like the Roadster harness, have a strap that goes between the legs and are generally more comfortable for folks with vulvas. Jockstrap-style strap-ons, like the SpareParts Joques, feature straps around each of the butt cheeks and the waist. “[This style] basically gives your butt a butt lift,” Corrado says.
There’s also double-strap strap-ons, which are designed to be worn by people with penises. There’s a hole for the penis and a second one for the base of the dildo. These are a great option for double-penetration play and for penis owners with erectile dysfunction. Best on the market: SpareParts Deuce. Underwear-style “You can also find harnesses that look like boxers or briefs and even thongs,” Corrado says. “They’re great for people who want to wear a harness under their clothes, and those who want to wear them to pack,” she says. Corrado recommends anything from the brand Rodeoh, as it’s usually more sturdy than other underwear-style harnesses on the market and home to a million different styles. Bondage harnesses Beyond harnesses for strap-on sex, there are also body harnesses that are commonly seen in the BDSM and kink scene. Some types you might see:
chest harness collar harness full-body harness External vibrator Does it vibrate? Is it intended to be used outside the body? Then — ding, ding, ding — it’s an external vibrator. And boy oh boy are there a lot of different types of external vibes. “All external vibrators are great products,” says sex educator and sex toy reviewer Indigo Wolfe. “It comes down to figuring out which is the most great for you, based on what you enjoy sexually.” Use the chart below to figure out what subcategory of external vibrator is best for you. Type of external vibrator What it does that’s special Our pick Palm vibrator Shaped like a computer mouse, these are ergonomically designed to cover the vulva and stimulate your labia and clit. Le Wand Point Jewelry vibrator These multitasking vibes can be worn (as jewelry) and adored (as clit vibrators). Vesper Crave Panty vibrator Surprise: These clip into your panties for hands-free clitoral stimulation at home, or at a restaurant. We-Vibe Moxie Wand vibrator Shaped like microphones, wand vibrators have a bulbous head that’s designed to deliver super intense, rumbly vibrations anywhere on the body (external genitals, back, butt cheeks, etc.). Magic Wand
Finger vibrator These small vibes slide onto or sit between two digits so you can bring your hands between your legs to enjoy the vibration. Dame Fin Bullet vibrator About the size of a battery, bullet vibrators provide buzzy, low-intensity vibration to your bits. They fit inside most harnesses to give the strap-on wearer stimulus. Unbound Zip Clitoral vibrator This category has no limits! Really, anything that can stimulate the clit qualifies. When shopping for your own clit vibe, think about what shape might work best for your anatomy. Dame Eva II Vibrating penis ring Vibrating cock rings slide over the penis and offer stimulation to the scrotum or a partner’s clit during P-in-V. Lelo Tor 2 Penis vibrator Penis vibrators are designed specifically to fit over, or encase, the cock with vibration. Mysteryvibe Tenuto Internal vibrator Do you enjoy having your bum hole penetrated? How about your front hole, if you have one? If the answer is Y-E-S to either, it’s time to add an internal vibrator to your sex toy collection. The exact type of internal vibrator you purchase will depend on what type of sensation you like internally.
Type of internal vibrator What it does that’s special Get this toy if… Our pick G-spot vibrator The G-spot is a nerve-dense pleasure zone located 2 inches inside along the front vaginal wall. G-spot vibrators are ergonomically designed to stimulate this zone. You like shallow penetration. Lelo Mona Wave A-spot vibrator 2 to 3 inches deeper than the G-spot sits another pleasure-zone: the A-spot. Any super long vibe can be used to stimulate the area. You enjoy deeeep penetration. Fun Factory Stronic G Egg vibrator Slightly larger than a bullet vibrator, egg vibes are designed to be inserted vaginally for internal stimulation. Note: These aren’t anus-safe. You enjoy feeling full. We-Vibe Touch Egg-on-a-stick vibrator Basically an egg vibrator with a handle, these are great beginner toys for internal exploration. You’re on the market for your first vibrator. CalExotics G-Spot Tulip Intimate Vibe Anal vibrator Any vibrator with a flared base qualifies as an anal vibrator. The most common are vibrating butt plugs. You enjoy the sensation of having your ass eaten or thrust into. b-Vibe Rimming Plug 2 Vibrating prostate massager The prostate is a nerve-dense patch of tissue 2 inches inside the rectum (toward the penis). Vibrating prostate massagers offer pressure and vibration against this spot. You have a prostate and enjoy intense prostate stimulation. Lelo Bruno Combination vibrator What happens when an external vibe and internal vibe have a baby? You get a combo vibrator!
These toys feature a vibrating “arm” for internal stimulation and another vibrating arm for external stimulation. The most common type is the rabbit vibrator. But certain prostate massagers count, too. Rabbit vibrators “Rabbit vibrators feature a curled nub for G-spot stimulation and an external nub for clitoral stimulation,” Corrado explains. Some vulva owners enjoy dual stimulation because it helps them get off more quickly. Others enjoy it because they enjoy the sensation of vaginal fullness, but can’t climax without a little clit action. This category of toys is called such because the OG dual-stimulation vibe literally looked like a bunny rabbit with ears and eyes (see: CalExotics Jack Rabbit).
Vibrators UKNowadays, some luxury vibes still look vaguely animal-like, like: Lovehoney Happy Rabbit 2 CalExotics Silicone Signature Jack Rabbit Satisfyer Mr. Rabbit But not all look animal-like. For instance, the Lelo Ina Wave, Lelo Soraya 2, and We-Vibe Nova feature the same dual-stimulation technology, without the ears. Before you buy one, Corrado says, “Be realistic about the size of your body and how much space is between your clit, and where internally you like to be stimulated.”
Put two fingers inside your vagina and look at where your clit falls in relation to those, she says. “This will give you a gauge of the distance you need between the two extensions.” Vibrating prostate massagers “Many prostate massagers feature an attachment that hugs up against the perineum (the spot between the anus and the balls),” Finn says. This helps stimulate the prostate from the inside and the outside. Her recommendations: We-Vibe Vector Lelo Hugo Nonvibrating wands Wand vibrators may be great, but don’t sleep on nonmotorized wands.
Generally made out of stainless steel or glass, wands can be used internally to apply pleasurable pressure to the G-spot and A-spot. And even the P-spot — so long as it has a flared base or nonpliable curve. “Stainless steel and glass can also hold temperature, which means you can warm them up or make them cold to experience different temperatures and sensations,” Finn says. For high-quality, stainless steel wands, check out anything from nJoy or Le Wand’s Stainless Steel Collection. For something less pricey, opt for a glass wand, like the Unbound Gem. Miscellaneous pleasure products for vulva owners Not all pleasure products fall under neat and tidy categories. But that doesn’t mean they won’t make you moan… Clit suction toys If you’re a vulva owner who loves the sensation of receiving head or wants to explore the sensation of receiving oral, you need to know about clit suction toys. “Rather than using vibration, clit suction toys use air and sucking technology to stimulate the clit,” Wolfe says. “They can work really well for folks who don’t like vibration, and they’re responsible for a lot of vulva owners’ first-ever orgasm.”
If you don’t have a clitoris but L-O-V-E nipple stimulation, you might also enjoy clit suction toys. When used with lube, it feels like a mouth. There are a ton of different clit suction toys on the market: If you enjoy the sensation of your clit being licked: Womanizer Premium If you’re looking for one that fits well between two bodies: We-Vibe Melt If you’re looking for one that also vibrates: The Chickie Emojibator If you enjoy really intense sucking on your clit: Lelo Sona Cruise Thrusters Sure, dildos can be used to thrust in and out of the body at speed… but not super easily. Hello, shoulder and bicep burn! “It’s legitimately hard for most people to put their arm between their legs and move their hand up and down really quickly,” Corrado says. Enter: thrusters. “Thrusters allow you to position the toy in one place and leave it while it does all the thrusting for you,” Corrado explains. “They also allow folks who can’t move their arms with consistent motion, or at all, to get that thrusting sensation.” Love accessible pleasure products!
Some thrusters, like the CalExotics Shameless Tease, feature an attachment that provides stimulation to the clitoris, like a rabbit vibrator does. Others, like the Zalo Desire preheating thruster, are shaped like standard dildos. Important note: Most thrusters don’t have a flared base, which means they shouldn’t be used anally. “Because they’re thrusting of their own accord, it could be really dangerous to use a thruster anally if it doesn’t have a flange,” Corrado notes. Ben Wa balls Jade eggs. Vaginal weights. Kegel aids. Ben Wa balls come in many shapes and forms, but they all do the same thing: go into your vagina and force your pelvic floor muscles to #dowerk.
Originally, they were designed to help vulva owners strengthen their pelvic floor muscles. But nowadays, they’re used as sex toys — especially in kink and BDSM scenes as a form of domination play. Finn explains: “The Dominant partner might have the submissive partner hold the balls inside their vagina as an endurance exercise.” (Is that iconic scene in “Fifty Shades of Grey” coming to mind?). For folks who are new to Ben Wa ball use, Finn recommends silicone balls, like the CalExotics Kegel-Training Strawberry Set or Satisfyer V Balls. More advanced users might try weighted Ben Wa balls, like Lelo Luna Beads or We-Vibe Bloom vibrating Kegel balls. Miscellaneous pleasure products for penis owners If you think sex toys for penis owners start and end with masturbation sleeves, be prepared to be proven wrong. Pulsator Rather than using vibration or thrusting, pulsators use oscillating technology to get you off.
The most popular toy on the pulsator market is the Hot Octopuss Pulse. Dubbed the first “Guybrator,” this toy wraps around the penis and jacks it off using oscillation (or more specifically, something called “PulsePlate Technology”). There’s also the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo, which can be used with a partner with a vulva for a hot shared experience. Automatic masturbators Whether you can’t physically use your hands to jack off or simply don’t want to, automatic masturbators are a good bet — they do all the work for you. Here’s how it works: You lube up the toy, your penis, or both, and put your peen inside the toy, then turn it on so it can get busy. Intrigued? Check out Own Pleasures 10 Dual Motor Automatic Male Masturbator. Masturbation sleeves “Masturbation sleeves are things that go over the penis that you can either thrust into, or move up and down with the help of your hand,” Corrado explains.
LingerieLikely, the Fleshlight comes to mind. But that’s just one of the many masturbation sleeves available for purchase. Other popular masturbation sleeves include: Tenga Egg Tenga Zero Flip Hole Luxury Male Masturbator The ROCCO JackDaddy Stroker Cock ring Typically made of silicone, nitrile, or stainless steel, cock rings are designed to go over the base of the penis to keep the blood flow from moving back in the body. The result? Stronger erections, and sometimes delayed ejaculation. Stretchy, adjustable, and stainless cock rings are often designed to go under the scrotum, too. Vibrating cock rings go at the base of the penis. “The benefit of most vibrating cock rings is that they can be positioned to apply stimulation to the scrotum or to provide clitoral stimulation to a vulva owner during partnered sex,” Corrado says.
She recommends the We-Vibe Verge or the Lelo Tor Ohnut Technically speaking, the Ohnut isn’t a sex toy so much as it’s a sex aid. However, it’s a product all people with penises who sleep with vulva owners should know about. This product slips over the base of the penis to limit how much of the penis is able to go inside the vagina during P-in-V intercourse. The point? To make penetrative intercourse more pleasurable for vulva owners who might otherwise find it painful. Butt toys Finally! The part of the guide where we talk about butt stuff! “Why anal toys can be pleasurable is pretty simple,” Wolfe says. “No matter what your genitals are, your anus is loaded with nerve endings.” Butt plug “Butt plugs can create a pleasurable sensation of being stretched or of being full,” Wolfe says. “And for vulva owners, because the anal canal and vaginal canal are right next door, they can also be worn in the anus to make the vaginal cavity tighter,” they add. Beyond just being pleasurable for a partner with a penis during P-in-V, a tight vaginal canal can increase the feeling of fullness for the vulva owner.
According to Wolfe, this can increase the chance that the G-spot gets touched during penetration. Choose your next butt plug based on your experience level with anal: Beginner: b-Vibe Snug Plug 1 Intermediate: nJoy Pure Plug Advanced: b-Vibe Rimming Plug 2 or b-Vibe Bump Textured Plug Anal beads “While butt plugs are about creating a sustained sensation, anal beads are generally about one moment and movement,” Wolfe says. “They’re designed to massage the sphincter when they go in and create a pleasure pop when they’re pulled out,” they add. Intrigued? Check out b-Vibe’s Cinco anal beads, which have a vibrating option. Prostate massagers We’ve already touched on vibrating prostate massagers, but — spoiler alert — not all prostate massagers vibrate. Some are basically just butt plugs with a special shape (aka increased curve) to support prostate stimulation.
“Prostates respond well to firm, methodical pressure,” Finn says. “Often the base of the prostate massager will have a handle so that you can rock the toy back and forth against the prostate to create that pressure.” For intense, vibration-free prostate stimulation, check out the Aneros MGX prostate stimulator. Toys for the kink-curious “Most beginner kink toys are all about eroticizing erogenous zones that often get ignored, or creating surprising sensations,” Wolfe says. Here’s where to start. Blindfold It’s simple: By taking away one sense (your sight!), your other senses become much more heightened. “Touch becomes that much more electric when you can’t see what’s coming,” Finn says. Make your own blindfold out of a bandana or tie. Or, check out this Sex & Mischief satin blindfold. Feather teaser “Feather teasers can be used to provide a really gentle touch along the body,” Finn says. “They’re especially great after impact play on the now-much-more-sensitive area.”